When my husband and I first heard that a birth family had chosen us to parent their baby, and as the days drew closer to his birth, we received a lot of parenting advice from people. Countless times we heard the phrase, “Your life will never be the same again“…as if to say, “do you know what you’re realling getting into?
As our child is still quite small, we continue to receive parenting advice or remarks from people. So I thought I would take some time to share my thoughts and what I have learned from these comments.
“Don’t you just love getting woken up in the middle of the night?” (sarcastic remark)
My Gavin didn’t sleep through the night until he was about 6 months old. And when I say “sleep through”, I mean he would sleep for 6 to 8 hours at a time. He definitly was not the baby that would sleep for 12 hours straight. So I was up with him every three to four hours. I loved this time with him. It was my opportunity to pray over him. It was even sometimes my only chance to spend time with the Lord.
“Isn’t it just so sad…?”
When Gavin was turning one, someone asked me if I cried all the time because he was getting bigger. “Isn’t it just so sad?” she would ask. My answer is no. I didn’t cry all the time and I wasn’t sad that my son was getting bigger. He was growing healthy and strong. I was thankful!
Sure, I miss snuggling with a baby who was simply content laying in my arms. I miss setting him down and knowing he would be right where I put him when I went to pick him up again. I miss when he couldn’t say “no” to me.
Yes, I did shed a few tears as my son was nearing his first birthday. I cried as I typed out blogposts, remembering all the emotions we had leading up to his birth. I cried as thought of Gavin’s sweet birth mother who so sacrificially gave us her son so that he could have a better life than she could give. I cried as I remembered the goodness of the Lord in blessing us with such a precious boy.
But mostly I was excited. I have had so much fun watching my son grow through each new stage of his little life. I love seeing what he will do or say next. I love seeing his boundless energy as he runs through the house and hearing how he says new words.
“Don’t you dread the day when…”
Do you know someone that cries thinking about sending their child off to college and the little one isn’t even two yet?
My friend, don’t borrow trouble for tomorrow. Matthew 6:27 and 34 says, “And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?…Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble” (ESV).
Instead of worrying, embrace today!
“Your life will never be the same…”
Most people didn’t share this statement in a positive light. However, it’s true. Our lives will never be the same again. Our lives have gotten better.
The sloppy kisses, the little arms around my kneck, the extra giggles and laughter, the boundless energy and sweet “I uh (love) you’s” from my little guy has made the sleepless nights, dirty diapers, extra laundry and a messy house all worth it.
While my son is still just 20 months old and I know this is just the beginning of motherhood, I can honestly say that so far I have chosen to embrace each stage as a blessing. Each little phase is a blessing that lasts for a little while. I don’t want to waste these blessings away by pining away for “what was” and worrying about what is to come. Because if I do, I probably would miss the joy of what is happening right now.
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