When I first started the “365 Days of Blessings” at the beginning of this month, I had said that there are times that it is difficult to be thankful. And it’s true that there are days I just want to cry. Yet God calls us to be thankful even when life is difficult, even when things aren’t going the way we want or how we planned them to go.
This week yet another adoption agency told us that they were not accepting new waiting families until next September. My heart broke. I want to already be on a waiting list, at the least, but here we are still trying to find an agency to even work with us.
I have followed every agency lead that I get. I have poured so much time and energy into the research and inquiries. After another “no”, I felt completely defeated.
I cried to my husband saying, “What does God even want from me? What is He trying to teach me? I just can’t handle this anymore. What more am I suppose to do?”
Oh, how I wish things came a bit easier for us. Sometimes I tell people, “I just wish a baby would drop into our laps one day.”
But if life were easier, I wouldn’t be reminded that God’s “grace is sufficient” for me! That even when I think I can’t handle another let down, He gives me the strength to carry on.
If life were easier, I wouldn’t be reminded to “Trust in the LORD with all (my) heart” and to not “lean on (my) own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5). Because even though I don’t understand why, God does. He sees the whole finished picture, and that picture is far better than I could have ever imagined.
I’m also reminded that this struggle of mine is so much smaller than a struggle someone else has. And for that I need to be thankful!
So even when things don’t go how I want them to go, even when I feel discouraged, even when I don’t know what step to take next, I am blessed.
I am blessed because I know a God who loves me and care enough about me to say “yes” in HIS time.
I am blessed to have a husband that loves me, even when I’m crying my eyes out and struggling to find my place.
I am blessed to have a precious son to love on, to play with, to cuddle with, to read to.
I am blessed to know so many people that are praying for my little family as we wait for God’s timing to make it just a little bigger.
There is always, always, ALWAYS, something to be thankful for!
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