For the Days You Just Want to Cry…

Posted on September 23, 2013 by Christie

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Have you ever had a day you just wanted to cry? I’m sure you have!

Today is one of those days for me. Last week at my post-surgical doctors visit, I was told (again) that I will most likely never get pregnant. This is something that I handle better on some days, and not so great on others. In the meantime, we are trying to find an adoption agency to work with for a second adoption.

First thing this morning as I checked my email, I saw a message back from an adoption agency I had contacted. The response read, “We are currently not accepting out of state apps unless a family has an Indian Role Card.” We definitely strike out on both of those!

While the email response is God answering the prayer that we would find the right agency to work with, it was a frustrating response. We are having a hard time finding an adoption agency that is accepting new applicants, including the agency we worked with for our first adoption. I feel like we’ve hit a brick wall and really don’t know where to turn next. So yes, I just want to cry.

However, on days that we just want to cry, it’s so easy to fall into a “poor me” trap, and that is not a good place to be. I do think it’s okay to cry…we often need to shed those tears…but we also need to foster a heart of thankfulness instead of self-pity.

So on those days you just want to cry, here are a few things you can do that might help….

Pray

First Peter 5:7 says, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” God knows and God cares. He wants us to come to Him with our burdens, our desires, our heavy hearts.

Read Scripture

I love reading a Psalm when I’m feeling down. A Psalm is a great reminder of who God is and what He has done. Even in his darkest moments, David sings praises to God. What a great example to follow!

This morning I read Psalm 37 with my son at breakfast. I was reminded to “delight myself in the LORD…” (vs. 4). Above all else, I am to put the Lord first in my life, to love Him with all my heart, soul, mind and strength.

I was also reminded to “Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him” (vs. 7). Oh,  this is a tough one! After all, I wish we already had all our adoption paperwork completed and were already on a waiting list…or better yet to already know a baby is on the way to us. That is just not the case yet, so I need to be still, wait patiently, and know that God has the perfect plan, just the right agency, and has already hand-picked the baby HE wants us to have.

Journal

Sometimes I find that once I put everything I’m feeling down on paper, I’m able to think more clearly for the rest of the day. For me, journaling is also a form of prayer, as it’s a way for me to cry out to God.

Listen to Praise Music

There is just something about listening (and perhaps even singing along) to worship music. It lifts the spirits. It takes the focus off of yourself and places the focus on the Lord instead. It is always good to praise the Lord!

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Taking Time to Slow Down

Posted on September 10, 2013 by Christie

A week ago, after already being in the hospital for three days, I had unexpected surgery. This was definitely not on my agenda. After all, I had lots to do!

Life is always busy. I’ve had a lot to do without the time to fit it all in. My husband and I had a Summer filled with one thing after another, and I am now playing catch-up trying to get needed things done. Between being a wife, a mom, the keeper of my home and church ministry I was (am) feeling overwhelmed, tired and exhausted.

Yet God used this time of illness (however unwanted it is) to slow me down.

In the quiet, solitary moments of sitting in a hospital room, I spent time with God. As much as I could, between the dizziness and nauseousness the pain medicine caused, I picked up my Bible and read.

“Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” – Isaiah 40:30,31

Oh, those verses were a balm to my soul as I read them!

I have to admit that being home recovering is a humbling experience. I am a “doer”, I love to do for other people. I am use to taking care of my husband and my son. I love making breakfast and cooking dinner. And yes, I even love cleaning my home…or at least the accomplishment that it brings.

It’s hard to let people do things for me. It’s hard for me to ask for help, yet help is what I have needed. Help with laundry, help with meals, help with caring for my son.  With having normal responsibilities removed (temporarily) from my “to-do” list, I have had some extra time of solitude.

Yesterday, I sat in a quiet house as my sister took my son to play at the park. During those moments, I had a chance to read a chapter of “Women Living Well” by Courtney Joseph.  A couple of her main points include:

1)   Slow down to connect with God. She encourages that “We must slow down and create calm moments. It is in our unhurried moments that we can see and hear clearly.”

2)   Practice solitude in season. Courtney writes, “In the winter here, we have forced dormancy…we women need forced dormant moments where we come inside to be alone with God.”

3)   Drink from the living water. “The Word of God is full of living water. We need to drink deeply from this living well so we can be women living well.”

Lastly, I want to leave you with a quote from the book that spoke to me most!

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Women Living Well Pre-Launch Giveaway

Posted on September 9, 2013 by Christie

Hi Ladies!

I am so excited to be a part of the pre-launch team for the book by Courtney Joseph, “Women Living Well: Find Your Joy in God, Your Man, Your Kids and Your Home”! I recently received an advance copy of the book and look forward to sharing my review once I finish reading it.

But before I share my review, I wanted to share this great opportunity. For those who pre-buy the book, check out the giveaway over at Women Living Well. When you purchase one copy of the book, you will also receive 10 free e-books!

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Over on the Women Living Well blog you may also view a trailer. So hurry over and take advantage of the opportunity while it is still available.

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When Plans Don’t Go as Planned

Posted on September 6, 2013 by Christie

plans

A week ago I had a lot of my own plans for this coming week.

Saturday I planned to bake, clean and attend football games. Instead I was rushed to the ER in an ambulance with severe abdominal pain.

Sunday I had planned to teach a Sunday School lesson to Freshman girls, host a “Fantasy Football Draft” party for my husband, launch a new year of Kid’s Choir at church in the evening and visit with family at my parent’s house and celebrate the coming birthday of my nephew.

Instead I sat in a hospital room praying I wouldn’t need surgery and that my pain would dissipate.

Monday I had planned to enjoy the day with family for a Family Reunion. Instead I still sat in a hospital bed knowing surgery was inevitable.

On Tuesday, instead of being home preparing for a garage sale I wanted later in the week, I had surgery.

And today, as I had planned to have a garage sale, I am home recovering….barely moving.

No, this week has not gone how I planned it to go. In fact, there are major events in my life that have not gone how I thought they would go – how old I’d be when I got married, how many children I would have, even my ability to conceive children.

Yet God knew. He had other plans for me.

Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD (ESV).

And Isaiah 55:8-9 teaches us that, “My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

Through every twist and turn, God has taught me to lean on Him, to trust Him, to look to Him no matter what. I have learned that “His grace is sufficient for me….” (2 Corinthians 12:9). With every plan that has not been my own, I have learned that God is good all the time. All the time, God IS GOOD! 

No, my plans may have not turned out how I envisioned, yet God had (and HAS) an even better plan for me.

I can say, “I am confident of this, I will see the goodness of the Lord…Wait for the LORD, be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD” (Psalm 27:13,14, NIV).

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Finding Time to Read

Posted on August 27, 2013 by Christie

reading

Every since I learned to read, I have loved reading. If given the time, I can easily devour a book in a day.

But time is precious! In the midst of taking care of my family, housework, ministry and whatever else comes up, reading often gets pushed aside. Oh, there are days I would try to pick up a book before bed, but often I’m so tired that I’m falling asleep before I finish the first page.

Then about a year and a half ago my husband bought me an iPhone. Along with the iPhone came the Kindle App. Oh how I LOVE the Kindle App!

With the Kindle app, I always have a book (or several books) with me at any time. So while I’m sitting in the doctors office or waiting for my husband to get out of a meeting at church, or wherever I may happen to have a minute, I can take out my “book” and read.

I love having books on my phone for nights where I can’t sleep. Since the screen is lit up, I can read without turning on a light in the bedroom…or even without leaving the bedroom.

Sure, I may not be able to read a lot each day, but I can read a little. And for me, a little is better than nothing!

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Impromptu Freezer Cooking

Posted on August 20, 2013 by Christie

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We have had some cooler weather the last couple weeks, and I finally had some time last Thursday to do some baking. During the Summer I tend to use the oven as little as possible, so baked treats are few and far between. Since I knew the weather was suppose to heat up again this week, I didn’t want to miss my opportunity to do some baking and be able to get some things we love in the freezer. I loved every minute of it. Then came the clean up. But seriously, it was worth every bit of the clean-up!

Here’s everything I made though…

1.  Double batch of French Bread.

I used the recipe from Mmm…Cafe. It’s super easy and incredibly delicious.

2. Giant Breakfast Cookies

I followed the recipe from Heavenly Homemakers. The only thing I did differently was used both chocolate chips and raisins. And I used a bit more chocolate chips than the recipe stated.

3.  Double batch of Banana Bread

This time I used half of the batter to make muffins. Instead of baking the muffins right away, I froze them in the muffin tins. Once frozen, I popped out the muffin batter cups and put them into a freezer bag. When I’m ready to bake them I will place the frozen muffin cups into the muffin tins, let thaw and then bake normally. Thank you Heavenly Homemakers for this tip!!

4.  A batch of Sweet Potato Bites!

Instead of baking these like I normally do, I placed the sweet potatoes in my slow cooker and cooked on low for about 4 hours. Once they were soft enough, I removed them, let them cool, then peeled the potatoes and diced up into bite size pieces.

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Weekly Shopping Trip – 8/16/13

Posted on August 19, 2013 by Christie

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Aldi

  • 2 lbs Red Grapes – $1.78
  • Broccoli – $1.49
  • Baby Lettuce – $1.99
  • Sweet Potatoes @ $0.69/lb – $2.76
  • Garbage Bags – $4.99
  • Milk – $2.05
  • Oatmeal – $2.29
  • (2) Vanilla Pudding @ $0.55 – $1.10
  • Sour Cream – $1.29
  • Cheese – $1.79
  • Spinach – $1.79
  • Tortillas – $0.99
  • 16 oz Shredded Mozzarella – $3.29

Total (after tax): $28.40

Walmart

  • Raisins – $1.98
  • Lance Crackers – $2.78 (FREE after coupon)
  • Peaches @ $0.50/lb – $1.61 (price matched with Food 4 Less)
  • Gold Delicious Apples @ $0.99/lb – $3.02 (price matched with Tony’s)
  • Bananas @ $0.29/lb – $0.79 (price matched with El Ranchito)

Total (after tax): $7.58

Produce from Friends

This week I also received a bag of bell peppers, banana peppers and apples from friends as well as some tomatoes from my sister. We are just loving the fresh Summer produce!

Total Weekly Spending:  $35.98

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Why I’m Excited for Back to School…

Posted on August 15, 2013 by Christie

back to school

If you know me, you’re probably laughing at this title or scratching your head in confusion, because you know that I don’t have school aged children. But it’s true. I am super excited for school to start.

During the Back to School Season it’s fun to get fresh boxes of crayons or colored pencils, scoring deals on “school” items, even getting them for free. But that’s not why I’m so thrilled about school starting.

“Why?” You might ask? Well, thanks for asking! It can be summed up with one word…

ROUTINE

Between moving, two weeks of Vacation Bible School, numerous graduation and birthday parties, unexpected traveling, a death in the family, and teen camp along with trying to balance home life, this Summer has had anything BUT routine.

I love routine. I thrive when I have a routine. I love schedules and having a plan.

There’s something about Back to School that says “routine”, even if you don’t have school age kids. While our schedule is still quite full, I am so looking forward to settling into some type of normalcy that the Back to School season brings.

Back to School also means the beginning of the Fall season, and I so love the everything about the Fall. I love the slightly cooler (but not so cold) weather, the changing colors of leaves, canning and apple picking, the smell of pumpkin spice, baking and sipping hot cocoa.

What do you love most about the Back to School season?

 

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My View of Open Adoption: Before and After

Posted on August 13, 2013 by Christie

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The term “Open Adoption” can be a scary phrase for hopeful adoptive parents. It brings a lot of questions to mind. It can bring a little (or a lot of) fear – the fear of the unknown.

That’s how my husband and I felt before we adopted. We had no idea what to expect. Sure, we read books provided by our adoption agency. We even saw a video. But reading about it and doing it are two different things.

Before Adoption

When my husband and I were filling out adoption paperwork, one of the sheets is on “openness”.  The questions read:

  1.  Both adoptive parents and the birth parents meet at a neutral location before and after birth.
  2. Both the adoptive parents and the birth parents are present at early events such as the baby’s baptism, dedication, and other mutually agreed events.
  3. Each set of parents inform the other of plans to move out-of-state and any major life events, ilnessess, or losses.
  4. Adoptive parents attend OB/GYN appointment with the birth parents.
  5. Meet with the birth parents, exchanging the following: pictures, letters, emails, cell phone numbers.
  6. Adoptive and birth families are together during and after the birth at the hospital.
  7. Sharing of videos/DVD’s of the chihld on a regular basis.
  8. First names are exchanged among each set of parents, they agree to personal history shared, and an amiable acquaintance is established.
  9. Visits between parents occur several times during hte first year and annually thereafter.
  10. Full names and addressess are exchanged during the first meeting with one another or shortly thereafter.
  11. Ongoing visits in each other’s homes, including extended birth parents, for events such as family get-togethers, holidays, vacations, birthdays, graducations, recitals, and other mutually agreed events.

Our options for each question were to select “Will Accept”, “Will Not Accept” or “Would Discuss”. We were all for sending pictures, letters and even emails. But when it came to exchanging phone numbers, addresses or even visits, we were a bit leery. I think we settled in the “Would Discuss” category for those!

Post Adoption

There are a few different levels of “open adoption” that range from a little communication (maybe a handful of letters or emails sent through the year) to completely open adoptions. These Open Adoptions are ones where the birth and adoptive families are more like close friends. They may talk on the phone a lot, share meals together, celebrate life events together.

Every adoption triad is different, So while I can’t share what other open adoptions look like, I can share what OURS looks like.

Our adoption is a semi-open, and for US it means the following…

  • During the first year we sent pictures and letters at 1 month, 3 months, 6 months and 1 year.
  • We had visits with the birthparents at 6 months and 12 months.
  • We created a Facebook page for just the birth family and us. This way we could post pictures, videos and updates more frequently than the letters specified in our Adoption Covenant. If they wanted anyone added, they could let us know.
  • We email updates to each other
  • All gifts and letters are sent to the agency and the agency mails the packages to the birthparents or to us.

What does it look like after the first year

I really don’t know! This is a learning process for us. Through our whole adoption process we have let the birth parents lead in what they want as far as communication goes.

While we still keep Facebook updated at least once a week, I have noticed that the birth parents aren’t on as much as they were before. Or at least they are not commenting as much. The birth Grandmas comment frequently though, and that’s okay. We set up the Facebook page so the birth family could access it as much or as little as they want.

For the next year, we will continue to send email updates to the birth family, as well as send occasional gifts.

For now, the next visit we have with the birth family is when our son turns two.  If they asked for a visit sooner, we would definitely discuss it and most likely meet with them. We want our son to know who they are. We want our son to know that his birth family loves him.

We are excited to see how this next year takes shape as we continue or adoption journey!

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Weekly Shopping Trip – 8/8/13

Posted on August 10, 2013 by Christie

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Aldi

  • Eggs – $1.39
  • Garden Salad – $0.49
  • Fresh Boneless Skinless Chicken @ $1.89/lb – $9.58
  • (2) Strawberries @ $0.99 – $1.98
  • Avocado $0.69
  • Green Peppers – $1.49
  • Broccoli Crowns – $1.29
  • Celery – $1.29
  • Hamburger Buns – $0.25
  • Cheese block – $1.79

Total (after tax): $20.29

I was a little surprised as I was going through my receipt for this post as the Avocados were marked down from $0.69 each to $0.39 and hamburger buns were only $0.25! Had they posted signs about the prices I may have picked up more.

Jewel

  • (2) Gallons of Milk @ $1.99 each

Total (after tax):  $4.05

Walmart

  • Peaches @ $0.48/lb – $1.67 (price matched with El Ranchito)
  • French Bread loaf – $1.68

Total (after tax): $3.41

Total Weekly Spending: $27.75

Now I’m just hoping to get to another store to pick up some Ground Beef on sale, and may pick up another package of chicken at Aldi!

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